Thursday, February 16, 2012

Narcissism

It's Show Business Folks!
 I have worked around celebrities for my entire career.
Not every celeb is a narcissist.
We can all have degrees of need for attention and love.
How we present it or deal with it can be subtle or unsightly.
I think I've had to learn a lot about people through my job as a photographer.
Decades of discovery and witnessing all types.
I read furiously all topics and today I pondered upon this trait as I am seeking questions that are unanswered in my life.
It's natural to desire acceptance and unconditional loved.
Animals are the purest form of this as humans have agendas and needs that often cause conflict.
Some of us go way out on a limb to be validated, often with disconcerting behaviors!
Posturing for attention is possibly dog eared of some form of neglect from our childhood. 
If real love is lacking growing up the results are often Narcissistic adults that are seeking attention, be it through fame, bad behaviors or just plain old self involvement lacking in empathy for others! These people rarely come to terms with owning this trait; however if acknowledged and with the help of a professional people can wake up.
I have entertained rather large groups with slide presentations of my work over the last 30 years.
I have had psychologist's in the audiences tell me that I know people based on my work!
I have been asked if I have studied this subject?  I have, however my degrees are in Art / Photography and police sciences.
 I am in intuitive and most of my life is from the gut and by the seat of my pants.
Feelings really steer my ship.  Does it feel good or bad?
Do we work through rough waters or bail ship?  
Sometimes its just a bad ride with some situations, especially if its one sided.
This is where narcissism is like a shiny penny glaring at you.
Sometime we can t help but bend over and pick it up!

A book recommended to me to shed light on the character trait of narcissism is:
The Narcissism Epidemic :Living in the Age of Entitlement 
   byJean Tuenge
 http://www.narcissismepidemic.com/
(Recommended by my Chef Mark Miller)
 
Everyone has something to work out...that is part of our individual journey s right?
We live in denial or we cry for help?  The perfect happy person we want to project is just not so 24/7.
We aim for joy....oh that JOY we so want daily till the title wave hits or something pulls the rug out from under out lives.
In my own lessons, I've experienced some brutal awakenings.
The nature of humans is I feel basically good! 
People are GOOD.
A few bad seeds out there, but most pretty darn nice.
We make choices and sometimes those are costly.
  Working with high profile people I've had to learn to listen a lot and just accommodate each situation to make the best story possible.
Narcissism is tough to see with rose color glasses.  
My nature is to see the good in everyone.
I still do but sometimes a situation can harden the heart!
Are your actions empathetic to others or are you really just all about your needs?
Are you content and joyful?
How is your life working for you anyways?
You can never be so right, when your life feels so wrong.
Be gentle with yourself and evolve....evolve ...evolve.
Narcissistic people are usually very charismatic, whats not to love.
I have several friends that are pretty showy and hell I've had my day too under the sun too!
You can be mad as hell at someone and still love them but don't expect a narcissistic person to give a rats ass about your feelings!
They are so stuck in their world that you really don't exist unless you serve their needs.
I fear it's too much to expect balance from people who have this trait.
I prefer humble and just working....earning my way and highlighting the rest.
Photography is an interesting career.
One day your working with the homeless, the next a celebrity or a story on child prostitution...the list is endless.
This weekend I have a job with a national magazine that is about genetics.
Photography is the gift that keeps giving.
Always learning and looking to make a new and better way to tell a story.
Narcissism is a serious condition and those who have it are really suffering more than most know!
The Emperor and his new cloths is a perfect story to reflect such a trait.
Are you the best you can be?
LOVE is being OPEN to learning.
Here's a little clip on the topic.
Dr Drew & Dr Saltz
( a short video worth watching)

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