Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Supporting Growth in MEN

photograph by karen kuehn Hwy 50 The Endless Hwy NV
Life is a Hwy by Tom Cochrane
As a parent's to a young male we have always worked hard to live by example.  Our son has witnessed both parents path's.  We have had elaborate discussions about all the in's and out's of living and choices that we as parent's have made for the better or the worse.  Always talking and sharing the lessons along the way we have both been deeply committed to our sons mental and Spiritual health & wellness.
Men and women are quite different in the way we communicate and feel and resolve our issues.  Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus http://www.marsvenus.com  Great audio book for the road.  Helpful tools for the opposite sexes.
I have to thank a male friend of mine Mark for sharing "the Mankind Project" site with me.
Last weekend as we discussed a 30ft sculpture I want to build, he shared his personal experiences from a weekend away in this seminar for men.
It's nice to know men my age and older are not afraid to open that doorway to reconnect with their past issues that can stalemate one's life. Kudos to him for being so brave.  This was my wish for some good men I know.  Eckardt Tolle talks of the pain body where many folks stay stuck and have difficulty bridging to a real place of love and growth.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PCSe2cqY_w
Bill Moyer did some weekend warrior work as well via / Robert Bly inspired event;s for men. How can we be present if our childhood patterns keep us in the past unknowingly.  It happens to all of us.  Some folks are obivious and some just are helplessly hoping it will all go way....(the bad feeling) that is ever current in the undercurrent!  I guess that works for some but than those of us who get taxed emotionally we have to get to the root of it and make it feel better.  And sometimes it just doesn't feel great, until we have felt about as bad as it gets!  Walking around like a zombie will not cure anything.  Seek and examine the feelings.  Why , when , where....how....own and be accountable.  You can change your life and be a better more awaken human.  Educate yourself, yes even if your in your senior years....this is a great option to create more vitality in your life.   More love, more care for your souls needs from your core energetic self.  Not from a starved place of some age where one stops growing emotionally based on your childhood.
What is your true emotional age?  So many sites on line about this topic...look at a few.
We all have an age where we got stunted!  Do you know yours?....Lots of ways to find out and identify where one is stuck.   I once read in one of those women magazines about this idea if you are crying.....tearing up....ask your self
HOW OLD I'M I?   To identify how old when you felt that same feeling....go back in time and do a parallel park job with your tearing and welling up.   It can really nail you and your true age where you might have stunted your growth.  Just something to ponder.  I'm sure googling you can find out more ways to uncover those demons.
People usually don't go out and work on themselves randomly, it takes a crisis to reach out and get knowledge to remedy most situations.  Of coarse if you know it all than who needs help?   Wrong we all can help each other be better people.

I think people have so many issues with their childhood that they carry this baggage "carry on's" all through their lives and it hurts innocent people, family members, lovers, and so forth.  Some souls feel that therapy means something is wrong as if it were BAD! No it is GOOD to get more tools, no parent can give it all to us or us to our children.  Yes to therapy, that is exactly right and you can get tools to make a better foundation, possibly tear down some of the old structure for it's weak parts.  Become less self involved and satisfied by love and cancel out some of that fear that keeps one from growing and having really healthy vital lives shared.  Stay in the world of stuck and muck or grow.  I support growth in all people, the mirror can be a good starting place questioning if your happy.  Are you happy?  Or are you propping yourself up with stuff that can't love you back?   Life is way too short.  Waste no time and get forward thinking about it.

Parents you do have a responsibility to raise your children with values and care so they are full of love and reflection of wellness.  Seeking information and reaching out can improve the way you parent so your kids don't grow up with so many issues. Do the best you can.

Doorways - open or closed, a portal is all healthy people want...an option and education to grow fearlessly.  Sadly you can drag a horse to water but you can't make them drink.
So...we work on ourselves...we so want to bring those we love to the wealth of love we feel but if they dig their heels in you have to let go and let God and life of other's sort it out!

When we are accountable we create better boundaries and richer lives for all. 

Keys: just a few for the love of man



Iron John - Robert Bly

Fire in The Belly - Sam Keen

The Power of Now - Eckhardt Tolle

If The Buddha Married - Charlotte Kasl 
(these books are really sweet for thinking about how to be more thoughtful in your relationships.)
If The Buddha Dated - Charlotte Kasl

Blessing to all of you...may you find what makes you shine.
D a n i e l  L a n o i s
photo by karen kuehn at the Worlds Fair Long Island NY
Thank you Danno for the moments we shined.


  1. Hi Karen! Thank you for the great post and the shout out to the ManKind Project - it has been a huge part of my development in the last 7 years. And I think it is one of the keys to how connected and successful my marriage with Kendra is.

  2. Your most welcome. I love men and have experienced much love and frustration with the species. I support growth and therapy and when I meet men who are fearless and able to explore more than their point of view I am celebrating the limitless possibilities with hope and faith in a bigger picture. I have met many men that do the talk that have not done the walk. We all have a solo journey right? So along the way some move faster and some slower and if its all meant to be it will be but often men and women are on different timelines for growth...in a blue moon we blend we mesh and its truly enlightened but if fused it can just harden and become a loss to gain. Comprende? Thank you for your kind comment.